|
By Jim Caswell
Your CCEA
Executive Board recently visited Sacramento where we talked with various members
of the Department of Education, State Board of Education, and other education
based representatives. To my great surprise, considering the State’s 35 Billion
dollar deficit, no one seemed panicked, depressed, or suicidal. The prevailing
attitude was that California has faced hard times before and we will get through
this crisis as well. Of course some people and programs will be left behind!
Perhaps the best way to summarize the moment is to quote from a voice from the
past “ In the end everything always works out for the best”??? We can only hope.
Some of the best
discussions during the capital visit were with Phil Spears, Director, Standards
and Measurements CDE. Mr. Spears is working with the CAHSEE. The one issue that
was made crystal clear during the discussion dealt with the issues of who must
take the test to graduate. This has been the number one question asked of me
during the past year. The issue is: If a student scheduled to graduate in 2003
fails to graduate and returns as a 5th year student in 2004 or
graduates in a later year, must he pass the CAHSEE. The answer is NO. (See notes
at
www.cde.ca.gov/statetest/cahsee/updates).
When he does
complete the 2003 graduation requirements from your continuation school he must
be credited with a 2003 diploma certification and not a diploma for 2004 or
after. It is the local school board who determines the year in school and year
of graduation. Mr. Spears will be presenting a workshop on the CAHSEE during the
state conference in May in Sacramento.
The big issue we
all face today, as you might suspect, is the 3.66% cut in education spending
proposed by Governor Davis. The prospects of these cuts impacting our
continuation programs should be minimal this year. For some districts, however,
the consequences might become much more noticeable next year as superintendents
and business managers look for ways to cut their budgets. Districts could change
the ratio of students to teachers or even attempt to close down the programs. Be
vigilant to these changes. Remember the Law mandates that every district must
have a continuation program in place (Education Code 48430, 48432). Don’t even
let your school boards contemplate such actions. It’s illegal! If you still
don’t have a copy of CCEA’s new manual Continuation Education, Finding the
facts, you can order your copy on line at
www.cceanet.org. The cost is only $10 plus mailing.
A word about the
2003 CCEA State Conference, Learning By The Bay, May 2-4 in San Francisco. This
conference meets all the guidelines for support funding outlined by the No Child
Left Behind legislation and all other State and Federal programs. It represents
the finest program assemblage of in-service activities for at-risk students to
be found anywhere in the country. This year we have received over 80 requests
from educators wishing to present conference programs. We have had to say no to
several excellent presentations due to the lack of time and space for these
presentations. We encourage these individuals to apply again next year. I know
that some small school programs have limited financial resources this year, but
I strongly encourage everyone to make every effort to attend this year’s
conference especially those who live and work in central and northern
California.
One final issue
deals with our 2001-02 Continuation Year-End Data Report. We have had only a 30%
return from the almost 600 forms mailed out in October. Even if you don’t have
all the data requested, please mail what you have to me ASAP. We especially need
data on total numbers of students enrolled, numbers graduating, total staffing,
etc. These are easy numbers to obtain. The CDE and the Legislature are looking
for these numbers. Let’s not give them the opportunity to say that some
continuation educators are as flaky as their students. I really need your
professional support on this issue. Happy New Year.
I hope to see
many of you in San Francisco.
Legislative Update
[
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Peter Birdsall & Theresa Inslee
Governor Proposes to Eliminate State’s
Deficit in the 2003-04 Budget Year
As CCEA members are aware, Governor
Davis released his highly anticipated 2003-04 Proposed State Budget on Friday,
January 10. His proposed budget includes not only a plan for the coming budget
year, but additional reductions in the current year (2002-03) in an effort to
tackle the state’s reported $34.6 billion dollar deficit.
In order to bridge the gap between
projected state expenditures and revenues, the Governor is proposing various
program reductions, funding transfers and loans, as well as tax increases.
Proposed tax increases include: a 1 cent sales tax increase ($4.6 billion), a
hike in state income tax for high end wage earners ($2.6 billion), and a
cigarette tax increase ($1.2 billion).
Proposed
reductions to K-12 education for both the current and budget years total
approximately $6 billion. The following briefly summarizes some of the major
K-12 education proposals for both the current and budget years.
School district
revenue limits (the primary source of state funding for all students in a school
district, including continuation high schools) is proposed by the Governor to be
reduced by 3.66% in the current year. The Governor also proposes that
revenue limits will receive no cost-of-living adjustment (COLA) for 2003-04.
The revenue limit “add-on” that is specific to continuation high schools is one
of the only elements of K-12 education funding that is proposed to receive no
reduction. However, the add-on also is not proposed to receive a COLA for
2003-04.
Additional Reductions to K-12 Education in the Current Year
In addition to reducing Proposition to
the minimum guarantee, including the $978.4 million in an across-the-board
reduction proposed by the Governor last December, Davis further proposes a
number of additional reductions to K-12 education in the current year.
Additional Cuts to Categorical
Programs in the Current Year
The Administration is proposing a
7.46% reduction to almost all Proposition 98 categorical programs
on top of the proposed 3.66% across‑the-board mid-year reduction. This
reduction constitutes an additional $481.7 million decrease in current year
funding. Supplemental Instruction, Special Education, Preschool, and Child
Nutrition would not be subject to this reduction. If adopted, this would
represent a 10.82% reduction to almost all categorical programs in the current
year and would carry over into the 2003-04 budget year. These include programs
such as 9th Grade Class Size Reduction, Regional Occupational Centers
and Programs, adult education, and the School Improvement Program.
Governor’s Proposed
2003-04 State Budget for K-12 Education
No Cost
of Living Adjustments/No Growth Funding for Categorical Programs
No funding is provided for
cost-of-living adjustments (COLAs) for Proposition 98 programs, including
revenue limit apportionments. The statutory COLA is estimated to be 1.55%.
Also, Davis provides no growth funding for categorical programs. However, the
proposed Budget fully funds statutory enrollment growth for school districts
($299.2 million), county offices of education apportionments ($22.3 million),
and Special Education ($37.2 million).
Additional Reduction and Block Grant Proposed for Categorical Programs
The Governor is
proposing to impose an additional 1.28% ($70.4 million) reduction to selected
categorical programs in the budget year. It is important to emphasize that this
reduction would be in addition to the current year reductions (3.66% and
7.46%) being proposed. Also, the Governor proposes to block grant
sixty-four categorical programs, which would provide districts with the
authority to spend the dollars “…for the general purposes of professional
development, instructional materials and technology, specialized and targeted
instructional programs, school safety, and student services.” The block grant
would consolidate approximately $5.1 billion in state funding for this purpose
and repeal categorical programs slated to be included in the block grant.
Set-Aside for Fiscally Troubled Districts
The Budget sets aside $102 million in
non-Prop 98 monies in anticipation of emergency loans that may need to be
provided to fiscally troubled districts pursuant to future legislation.
Deferral
of Funding for State Mandates
No funding is provided for the cost of
various new mandates identified by the Commission on State Mandates and
deficiencies for mandated programs that have been reported by the State
Controller. The estimated state savings is reportedly $870 million.
State
Board of Education Finalizes NCLB Application
At its
January meeting, the State Board of Education approved a number of
recommendations offered by the California Department of Education (CDE) that are
key components related to implementation of NCLB. The final application
outlining California’s accountability plan must be submitted to the United
States Department of Education (USDOE) by no later than January 31, 2003. Once
the application has been submitted, it will undergo a federal peer review for
approval, which is expected to take several months and may require additional
modifications to the state’s accountability plan.
Of importance to
CCEA members is the decision approved by the Board with respect to whether or
not ASAM would be allowable under new federal regulations and if continuation
high schools would be removed from the state’s alternative accountability system
for the purposes of NCLB. The following briefly summarizes some of the board’s
actions that were taken during the meeting that are of particular interest to
CCEA members.
Alternative Accountability (ASAM)
Previous drafts
of the federal Title I regulations allowed states the flexibility to use
additional accountability methods for schools that serve students for less than
a full academic year. Unfortunately, that provision was removed from the final
regulations. As a result of this decision, the CDE recommended and the Board
approved, that there only be one accountability system for all schools,
eliminating the use of the Alternative Schools Accountability Model (ASAM) for
accountability purposes under NCLB.
As a result all
ASAM schools to receive an API report, and an AYP report based upon the “percent
proficient” metric for all students that have been enrolled in the school for a
full year. Any student who is enrolled in an ASAM school on the first day of
testing must participate in STAR assessments. Schools who have fewer students
than are required in each subgroup (due to mobility) will be aggregated at the
district level. Also, individual students scores that do not count for the
school AYP due to mobility will be “rolled-up” to the district or state AYP as
appropriate.
As a result, the
state must now consider whether or not to maintain the ASAM and provide each
participating school with an ASAM report. Selected indicators may potentially
aid districts in providing accountability for alternative schools.
Definition of “Proficient”
In order to
conform to NCLB requirements, the Board had to re-examine the state’s rigorous
definition of proficient, which corresponds to college readiness at a four-year
university. Upon reviewing the federal and state requirements, the Board
approved the recommendation that the current “proficient” level on the Ca.
Standards Tests would serve as “proficient” for NCLB purposes for grades 2-8.
Mobility
Federal
requirements contain specific rules related to student mobility that dictate
where students should be counted with regard to a state’s accountability
system. NCLB specifies that if a student attends more than one school within a
district but is enrolled in the district for a full academic year, that student
should be counted at the district. Highly mobile students who have not been
continuously enrolled in any district for a full year should be counted at the
state level.
These rules are
different from the state’s API and would require legislation to alter
California’s system to reflect the new changes under NCLB. The Board approved
the recommendation that the state adopt the necessary changes to conform the
state’s definition of mobility to that of NCLB.
Exemplary Programs/Projects
[
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Jeanne Yttreness
Just a friendly
reminder to be thinking of your outstanding programs/projects and be prepared to
submit them by February 1, 2003.I have only received three programs. I know with
over 600 continuation schools, we have a lot more programs. The requirements are
simple and the application is easy to complete. Go to our website
www.cceanet.org. The goal is to
provide an opportunity for all continuation or alternative schools to reap the
benefit of the numerous special programs that have been developed by our
members. It is intended that through this process every continuation or
alternative school in the state can replicate the selected programs/projects.
The
program/project must be submitted by any current member of CCEA (professional
or school) or any employee of a school who has a school membership in CCEA.
Each school is limited to a single submission each year. If you have
questions, call Jeanne Yttreness.
707-463-5220
(work)
707-458-5292 (home)
ASAM Update
[
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by Janet Knoeppel
The December 2002
meeting of the PSAA Alternative Accountability Subcommittee yielded much good
information. As of December 18th, 87% of all schools in the ASAM and
90% of Continuation High Schools had completed their ASAM reporting. (If you
are one of the schools that have not completed this task, you will be hearing
from me by phone or email. You need to complete this ASAP!)
The State Board
of Education has agreed to the recommendations submitted from the committee
regarding the pre-post test of achievement. They also have agreed to accept
further recommendations in January 2003. Several tests were thought to be
possibly acceptable by the committee, but additional data was needed to ensure
their quality and that they would meet the parameters agreed upon by the
committee. Those tests that have been approved for pre-post testing include:
Renaissance Reading and Renaissance Math (formerly Accelerated Reader and
Accelerated Math); CASAS (Comprehensive Adult Student Assessment System); and
the Gates MacGinitie Reading Test.
We spent a great
deal of time reviewing the various indicators that are available for us to use
as our accountability measures and determined that there is a need for
recrafting definitions for a couple of them. It is expected that the data will
be released either late this winter or early in the spring on the website. A
statement that schools are to be compared against themselves and not one another
will be posted with this information.
We had a report
on No Child Left Behind (NCLB) as it pertains to California. By January 31,
2003, the state must file its accountability plan with the Federal Government
for its approval. There are serious questions about the role of ASAM as it
relates to NCLB. The Feds want to see a single system of students who’ve been
enrolled since the beginning of the school year to demonstrate Adequate Yearly
Progress (AYP). They do not want to see two separate, and what they perceive to
be unequal, systems for reporting. Any school with no students from day 1 for
reporting will filter up to the district as a part of the district reporting
mechanism. And, if students are not in the district from day 1, the scores will
filter up to the state. There have even been questions regarding the API as it
is reported out as a single score that encompasses both the reading/language
arts and math areas. The Feds prefer that there be separate reports rather than
indexing of a single score. Regardless of the decisions, California can still
move ahead independently on the ASAM. This decision will have to be made in
January.
ASAM
UPDATE-JANUARY 8, 2003
As of this date,
the State Board of Education (SBE) has eliminated the ASAM as a valid
accountability measure to show AYP under the No Child Left Behind mandate. The
actions taken by the SBE will now require all ASAM schools to receive an API
report, and an AYP report based upon the ‘percent proficient’ metric for all
students that have been enrolled in the school for a full year. Any student who
is enrolled in an ASAM school on the first day of testing must participate in
STAR assessments. Schools who have fewer students than are required in each
subgroup (due to mobility) will be aggregated at the district level. Also,
individual students’ scores that do not count for the school AYP due to mobility
will be ‘rolled-up’ to the district or state AYP as appropriate.” In addition,
the Federal Government requires a 95% student participation rate in testing
programs that are used to demonstrate AYP.
The SBE
definition of “proficient” is that all students are performing at an acceptable
level to be admitted to a college or university. For high school students, this
will be determined by passage of the CAHSEE.
As to what will
happen at our next meetings of the ASAM, I will keep you informed. We would
hate to see 4+ years of hard work summarily eliminated. We are hopeful that we
will continue to refine the ASAM and be able to use it for our own
accountability.
Cruse Alaska
[
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With Your Colleagues
Do you love to
cruise? Have you always wanted to take a cruise? Have you never cruised?
Well, now may be your opportunity. I am currently working on a cruise during
the summer of 2004 that will be available to CCEA members and friends. There
will not be a conference or any set agenda. This will be designed to travel and
have fun.
As I have cruised
throughout the world, I have watched as other groups get together and book a
cruise because they have common interests. I thought it might be kind of fun to
do the same for CCEA. If you are interested, please let me know ASAP so I can
start working on the particulars. There will be a choice of staterooms (2 to a
room). You can opt for an inside stateroom, an outside stateroom or a balcony
stateroom. Obviously, there is a price difference. There will also be airfare,
probably roundtrip to Vancouver and back. The only other expenses you would
incur would relate to any shore excursions you might want to take while in the
various different ports.
Why Alaska? I’ve
been there before and it is a fabulous cruise! The scenery is breathtaking and
the ports are fun. There are many options in the ports including a helicopter
flight to a glacier where you will land and be able to actually walk on the
glacier in special shoes. There are train rides through the mountains. There
is a day of cruising right up next to a glacier. There is shopping for the
shopaholics among us! There is history for those of you who thrive on
learning about the past. While on the ship there is bingo, dancing, swimming,
horseracing, and gambling in the casino; wine tasting; art auctions; the spa for
facials, massages and more opportunities to pamper yourself; there is a
complete workout facility along with classes and much, much more. Depending on
the ship, there may be rock climbing, ice skating, miniature golf, and inline
skating (roller-blading). There is an opportunity to meet the Captain. You can
set up a special tour of the Bridge. Or, you can sleep and be lazy. There is
definitely something for everyone when you cruise.
Questions?
Contact Janet Knoeppel at JanetWK@aol.com.
Learning by the Bay
[
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2003 CCEA State Conference
With over 80
submissions to present at this year’s State Conference, we will have some of the
best presentations in recent memory. The majority of submissions fall into five
major themes: Assessment and Accountability, Instructional Strategies, Student
Safety, School Improvement, and the Use and Implementation of the California
Standards. Tied into all of these themes is how the “No Child Left Behind”
legislation impacts what we are doing in Continuation Education. Therefore, for
those of you who have been wondering how you will find the money to attend the
conference, utilize your NCLB Professional Development funds. This year’s
conference will help answer some of the questions surrounding NCLB, the future
of ASAM, how we fit into an API and what the future holds for Continuation
Education and alternative education in California. You won’t want to miss out
on the opportunity to hear what the experts have to say.
Some of the
presentations we have lined up include a Legislative Update presented by Peter
Birdsall and Theresa Inslee, our lobbyists in Sacramento; Developing Your Model
School presented by Dennis Fisher, our Consultant in the CDE; Assessment and
Accountability presented by Phil Spears from the CDE; Gang Culture and Graffiti,
presented by Vince Carbino; Using AVID Techniques in Your Classroom, presented
by Mark Wolfe from the AVID Center; and WASC for Continuation High Schools
presented by Dr. Marilyn George from the Accrediting Commission. In addition,
there will be workshop sessions on how some schools have made the CAHSEE work
for their students. There will also be several workshops dealing with the
Demystification of State Standards, as well as strategies you can take back to
your school Monday following the conference. You will find a more complete list
of titles elsewhere in this newsletter.
Unfortunately,
not everyone who submitted a proposal has been selected to present at this
year’s conference. With the focus on “No Child Left Behind” and the concerns
relating to testing and accountability, school improvement for students and
teachers, and safety issues, the conference committee found it necessary to
accept only those presentations that addressed the five themes mentioned earlier
in this article. In addition, our space is limited at the hotel. We are very
thankful that so many of you were interested in participating in this year’s
conference and hope that you will apply again next year. What you have to share
is of great value and we want to hear about your programs.
If you haven’t
already registered for our conference this year, do so today. It is as easy as
online registration, or if you’d prefer, download the registration form and mail
it to Jeanne Yttreness at South Valley High School in Ukiah.
THE DEADLINE
FOR RECEIVING YOUR REGISTRATION IS APRIL 15th! After that date there
is a $25.00 additional charge for registration.
While you are
doing this, don’t forget to make your hotel reservations at the Hyatt Regency
Airport Hotel in Burlingame.
The phone number
there is 650-347-1234.
Be sure to ask
for the conference rate for CCEA.
The
deadline for this conference rate is April 1st.
2003 State Conference
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Schedule of Events |
Friday, May 2, 2003 |
| |
|
| 8:00
AM |
CDR |
| |
|
| 9:00
AM |
Accreditation for Continuation Schools
Presented by Dr. Marilyn George, Assoc. Director of the Accrediting
Commission.
(This is an all day workshop) |
| |
|
|
11:30 AM |
Middle College High School.
Presented by Greg Quigley and a group of students. The unique program
is one more option.
(This workshop is 1 1/2 hours) |
| |
|
| 2:00
PM |
AVID
is Right for Continuation (Advancement Via Individual Determination)
Presented by Mark Wolfe
(This is a 3 hour workshop) |
| |
|
| 6:00
PM |
No
Host Reception |
| |
|
| 7:00
PM |
Dinner and Recognition Awards |
| |
|
| 9:00
PM |
Dancing to the Music of “Gigantic” |
| |
|
|
Saturday, May 3, 2003 |
| |
|
|
7:30-9:00 AM |
Continental Breakfast |
| |
|
|
8:00-9:30 AM |
Session A |
| |
|
| 9:45
–11:15 AM |
Session B |
| |
|
|
11:15-Noon |
Time
for Vendors |
| |
|
|
Noon-1:30 PM |
Luncheon and Teacher of the Year |
| |
|
|
1:30-2:00 PM |
Time
for Vendors |
| |
|
|
2:15-3:30 PM |
Session C |
| |
|
|
3:45-5:00 PM |
Session D |
| |
|
|
5:15-5:45 PM |
District Meetings |
| |
|
|
6:00-??? |
Hospitality Suites |
| |
|
|
Sunday, May 4, 2003 |
| |
|
|
8:00-9:00 AM |
Session E: Job-Alike Round Tables |
|
9:00-11:00 AM |
Brunch and Model Schools |
|
This
conference is supported by the California Department of Education (CDE) and
meets all criteria for categorical funding, including No Child Left Behind
Professional Development Funds.
Hotel Reservations: Hyatt Regency
Hotel San Francisco Airport.
1333 Bayshore Highway, Burlingame, CA 94010, 650-347-1234.
Request special rates for CCEA.
List of 2003 Conference
[
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Presenters, Topics, and Strand
|
Presenter |
Title of Presentation |
Theme |
|
James Ambuehl |
From This Point Forward |
School Improvement |
|
Claudia Anderson |
GYST-Get Yourself Together |
School Improvement |
|
Steve Atwood, Sharon Clark, Rhonda Winegarner |
Response-ability Training Program |
School Improvement |
|
Tonya Bibbins, Wayne Esau |
One-Stop Academic School Year
Calendaring |
Standards |
|
Peter Birdsall, Theresa Inslee |
Legislative Update |
Legislation |
|
Robert Blevins, Evelyn Puentes |
Measure Up to CAHSEE |
Assessment/Accountability |
|
Edward Brownlee |
Hillcrest Students Take Charge of Their
Learning Using a Computer Based Lang. & Math Program |
Instructional Strategies/Standards |
|
Jim Brucia, Doug Creighton |
The “Five Step Process” to Improve Student
Achievement |
School Improvement |
|
Vince Carbino |
Gang Culture and Graffiti |
Safety |
|
Andrea DeaMude |
Advocacy From Scratch |
Instructional Strategies |
|
Karin Ekanger |
Meeting the California Challenge in Language
Arts and Math |
Standards |
|
Lori Figueroa |
Senior Project-Cumulative Student Portfolio |
Instructional Strategies |
|
Dennis Fisher |
Developing Your Model School |
School Improvement |
|
Angel Garcia |
Safety, Security and Sanity |
Safety |
|
Greg Herrick |
The Teacher as “Coach” in the Classroom |
Instructional Strategies |
|
Brenda Hull |
What is a Power Standard? (Math) |
Standards |
|
Mohammed Jameeluddin |
Workability I and the Continuation High
School |
School Improvement/Instructional Strategies |
|
Tom Kellner |
School, Community, Politics and You |
School Improvement |
|
Dr. Sam Kier |
Teaching Through Love and Logic |
School Improvement |
|
Susan Knoeppel, Janet Knoeppel |
How Intelligent is Your Classroom? |
Instructional Strategies/Standards |
|
Betty Knopf |
Raise Your State Test Scores. Be a
Diffendoofer |
Assessment/Accountability |
|
Dr. Terry Lawton |
Nutritional Grants |
School Improvement |
|
Dr. Terry Lawton, Michelle Leddel |
Bugs…Beyond the Bug Collection |
Standards |
|
Adele Levy |
Focus on Literacy |
Standards/Assessment/Accountability |
|
Patricia Lopez, Carmen Marquez |
Developmental Assets |
Instructional Strategies |
|
Kris Lundy |
CAHSEE & Online Tutorials (Math) |
Assessment/Accountability/Standards |
|
Carmen Marquez |
How to Help ELL students Meet the Standards |
Standards/Instructional Strategies |
|
Lee McLaughlin, Cheryl Kasa |
Leadership C.L.A.S.S. at a Continuation High
School
|
School Improvement |
|
Michael Mistriel |
Rising Above the Tide of Mediocrity (Math) |
Standards |
|
Dave Orphal |
Homophobia 101 |
Safety |
|
Dave Orphal |
Homophobia 210 |
Safety |
|
David Papke |
Small Schools Collaboration |
School Improvement |
|
Vicki Phillips |
Building Respect, Responsibility and
Resiliency in Today’s Adolescents |
School Improvement |
|
Jim Pors |
Teen Dating Violence Prevention |
Safety |
|
Dr. Maureen Powers |
Visual Skills and Reading Performance |
Instructional Strategies |
|
Manual Rodriguez, Michael Mince |
Crisis in California Rural Communities
(Impact of Gangs on Small Continuation Schools) |
Safety |
|
Douglas Paulson, Sharon Clark |
Connections/AVID |
Instructional Strategies |
|
Shari Sack |
Storytelling: A Most Critical Element in
Creating Literacy |
Instructional Strategies |
|
Sara J. Salmon |
Create Your Culture of Character Through
Aggression Replacement Training |
Safety |
|
Alan Sitomer |
The Empowered Educator |
Instructional Strategies/ Assessment |
|
Dana Smith |
Creating a Social Studies Curriculum that is
Based in Technology and State Standards |
Standards/Instructional Strategies |
|
Gabe Soumakian |
ILPs/Focus on Standards/CAHSEE |
Standards/Assessment/Accountability |
|
Phil Spears |
Assessment and Accountability |
Assessment/Accountability |
|
Joseph O. Stits |
Take Command of Standards |
Standards |
|
Shelby Stone |
City as School |
Standards/Instructional Strategies |
|
Liane Cox Tomich |
School Health: Programs, Resources and
Opportunities |
Standards |
|
Ivan Vergara |
Buon Giorno Principessa |
Instructional Strategies/School Improvement |
|
Bernard Vigallon, Karen Abel |
School Site Program Collaboration |
School Improvement |
|
Barbara Wenk, Jim Armstrong |
A Guide to Unraveling Standards |
Standards/Assessment/Accountability |
|
Robert Winters |
Capitol Focus |
Instructional Strategies |
|
Mark Wolfe |
AVID |
Instructional Strategies |
|
Deborah Wood |
Teaching Standards-Based HIV/STD Prevention
and Life Skills Through Literature |
Standards/Instructional Strategies |
If Airlines Sold Paint
[
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Customer: Hi.
How much is your paint?
Clerk: Well, sir,
that all depends on quite a lot of things.
Customer: Can you
give me a guess? Is there an average price?
Clerk: Our lowest
price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different prices up to $200 a gallon.
Customer: What's
the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there
isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.
Customer: Well,
then I'd like some of that $12 paint.
Clerk: When do
you intend to use the paint?
Customer: I want
to paint tomorrow. It's my day off.
Clerk: Sir, the
paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.
Customer: When
would I have to paint to get the $12 paint?
Clerk: You would
have to start very late at night in about 3 weeks. But you will have to agree to
start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least
Sunday.
Customer: You've
got to be kidding!
Clerk: I'll check
and see if we have any paint available.
Customer: You
have shelves FULL of paint! I can see it!
Clerk: But it
doesn't mean that we have paint available. We sell only a certain number of
gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the price per gallon just
went to $16. We don't have any more $12 paint.
Customer: The
price went up as we were talking?
Clerk: Yes, sir.
We change the prices and rules hundreds of times a day,and since you haven't
actually walked out of the store with your paint yet,we just decided to change.
I suggest you purchase your paint as soon as
possible. How
many gallons do you want?
Customer: Well,
maybe five gallons. Make that six, so I'll have enough.
Clerk: Oh no,
sir, you can't do that. If you buy paint and don't use it, there are penalties
and possible confiscation of the paint you already have.
Customer: WHAT?
Clerk: We can
sell enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if
you stop painting before you do the bedroom, you will lose your remaining
gallons of paint.
Customer: What
does it matter whether I use all the paint? I already paid you for it!
Clerk: We make
plans based upon the idea that all our paint is used, every drop. If you don't,
it causes us all sorts of problems.
Customer: This is
crazy!! I suppose something terrible happens if I don't keep painting until
after Saturday night!
Clerk: Oh yes!
Every gallon you bought automatically becomes the $200 paint.
Customer: But
what are all these, "Paint on sale from $10 a liter" signs?
Clerk: Well
that's for our budget paint. It only comes in half-gallons. One $5 half-gallon
will do half a room. The second half-gallon to complete the room is $20. None of
the cans have labels, some are empty and there are no
refunds, even on
the empty cans.
Customer: To heck
with this! I'll buy what I need somewhere else!
Clerk: I don't
think so, sir. You may be able to buy paint for your bathroom and bedrooms, and
your kitchen and dining room from someone else, but you won't be able to paint
your connecting hall and stairway from anyone
but us. And I
should point out, sir, that if you paint in only one direction, it will be $300
a gallon.
Customer: I
thought your most expensive paint was $200!
Clerk: That's if
you paint around the room to the point at which you started. A hallway is
different.
Customer: And if
I buy $200 paint for the hall, but only paint in one direction, you'll
confiscate the remaining paint.
Clerk: No, we'll
charge you an extra use fee plus the difference on your next gallon of paint.
But I believe you're getting it now, sir.
Customer: You're
insane!
Clerk: Thanks for
painting with United.
The Newsletter always needs interesting new
material, so if you have something you would like to say to your
colleagues in the Continuation Education Field -
write it! We reserve the
right to edit all material for form, fit and function. Chances are that your
article will be printed “as is”. Then you can tell your friends that you
have been “Published”.
Pictures of a relevant nature and graphics of all kinds are
likewise encouraged. As mentioned elsewhere, we would like to receive articles
in Word format, since that allows easy insertion into the desk top publishing
program that we use to create the newsletter. Articles can be emailed, or if
that is not a comfortable method for any of you writers, mail a diskette to Nancy Christopher, Secretary. The
address is: Willow Park High School, 21905 Nisqually Road, Apple Valley, CA
92308. Phone: (760) 240-4252 (Work). Email: nchristopher@eee.org
Click Here for more information.
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